Welfare Christmas

I love that line in the Everclear song......" I hate those people who love to tell you, money is the root of all that kills. They have never been poor, they have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas."
I had one, once, December 1979. My Mother had gathered my brother and I and split.. we were staying with a girlfriend of hers while my mother figured out what to do. I was 10, my brother 2. The girlfriend got a box for us from her church because she wasn't much better off.

I had one, and only one, but that's enough to remind you to appreciate what you have, and give, and have fun at Christmas (or Hannukah or Winter Solstice.)

A year ago I was in a shitty place. Then early 2009 wasn't so hot. But by the middle of 2009, things picked up. I was co-hosting "Is This Normal?" with Emily on TSR Network. People were buying corsets again by the fall....

2009 is ending up nicely.
I'm wishing you fun and happiness and the ability to share what you have and make merry.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Shalom and Happy New Years!!!
Simone

Barkin, Pacino, and a wall

"Sea of Love" is a sex positive movie and a woman's movie. In fact, I don't understand why this brilliant, well acted, well written film isn't more popular.

Because the masses fall for crap like "Fatal Attraction" and "Basic Instinct."

Sorry. Let me see if I can write one blog without any negative remarks, shall I?

In case you haven't seen it, Al Pacino and John Goodman are two cops who join forces to track a killer who murders men in bed, post-coitus. Pretty quickly they figure out that all the victims placed personal ads written in rhyme. The killer likes rhymes and pursues these men... therefore the killer must be a woman answering their ads. Pacino and Goodman set up a phony personal and a sting in a restaurant to meet the women who answer their ad. The hope is to get wine glasses and cutlery from the women for prints.

Ellen Barkin is already smokin. I don't know where this woman went...I realize she's a whole person without a career in Hollywood, but this movie makes me wish there were more films with her in them. She's one of the women who answers the phony ad. She splits without touching anything, because she's a no-nonsense kind of person. In summary, her and Pacino get off to a rocky start, but New York being what it is, they run into each other..... and hook-up.

You have to see their first night together.
You have to.
And the magic is that Barkin's character doesn't know Pacino is a cop..... would she do and act the same way if she did?

Barkin's character owns her sexuality and her tastes. She knows what she's doing. She's confident. She's good. She tops Pacino. Yes, she Tops him.

The movie is able to show these two people without dumbing it down or creating bullshit stereotypes. Barkin is a mother, and appears to be a good one... and she's an experienced, very sexual woman. There is nothing wrong with that. We find out Pacino is a good cop, high-energy, but doesn't lose his mind over the fact that Barkin topped him. (Hell, the most obvious reason is that he loved it, enjoyed it and it was a relief to not be a cop for a few hours... it doesn't take years of therapy to figure that one out.) He's still a complete man. Both are lonely as hell and crazy attracted to each other. Pacino questions how Barkin could have put out a personal ad as if to judge her but he's quickly put in his place. Both are able to go about their daily lives, get work done, and still shift gears in a moment's notice to play "pretend you don't know me" in a grocery store.

I won't give away the ending. This is one of the few movies that actually has a surprise ending. And the movie is totally worth the price of rental to see the Barkin and Pacino characters and the wall.

In your eyes, Lloyd Dobbler

"Say Anything" came on my free Showtime preview this week.
I never watched that movie, either, when it came out. I was not prone to anything that smacked of teen romance and/or John Hughes. I was very judgemental at that age..... which makes you question the whole "old and cynical NOW?" Right? Nope, my poison was movies like Blade Runner, Ghostbusters, Aliens, The Fly.... and Flashdance. I guess I glossed over the part about the welder-dancer being 19 and Michael Nouri like, 42?

I'm glad I've seen "Say Anything." Very glad.

There is nothing wrong with that movie.

Nothing.


(Kickboxing?..... was Lloyd Dobbler a fucking genius, or what?!!!)

I am officially old and cynical

"Singles" was on cable the other night. I actually wrangeled 3 months of free Showtime, so it wasn't on TBS, either!

I never watched this movie. I have a well worn cd of the soundtrack, stolen from the ex. Don't feel bad. He was a college DJ... he got tons of free shit. In fact, I bet he's still on some CMJ mailing lists!

Have you seen the movie?
Kyra Sedgwick starts dating Campbell Scott. I can't remembe their real names.
They're sitting at his house, listening to his records... because he had also been a college DJ.

She absentmindedly pulls the plastic off the record she's holding.

Um. HEY!!! We keep the plastic on them FOR A REASON! OMG, she just pulled the plastic off "London Calling!!" Can I pop this bitch in the head?

And he doesn't even notice. The Power of the Pussy compells Campbell Scott to let a dumb broad do whatever she wants with his records....

Well, she's all uptight and protecting herself the first couple of times they go out, and they haven't "done anything."
One night, she gets home from a date, starts brushing her teeth and there's a knock on her door. It's Campbell Scott. He tells her "He wasn't anywhere near her neighborhood......" as she glows and lets him in.

Um.
Yeah.
I guess in 1992 I would have thought that was truly magical.
What do we call that nowadays, boys and girls? Yes, that's right.........

MOTHERFUCKING STALKING!!!

There. I've just ruined the movie "Singles." The only redeeming thing about the movie is Eddie Vedder in a speaking role, Chris Cornell with his shirt off, a very believable Matt Dillon Dude with a great wig, and a young Paul Giamatti getting some.

And this week, on "Is This Normal?," Wednesday,8 pm, December 9th, we'll have Adrian Colesberry and a royal send-off from Gram Ponante. Find us on www.tsrnetwork.com and register to watch.

Bountiful Booty

I racked up in a bounty of books... arrgh.
Hard not to talk like a Pirate when you get some booty.
I visited the Spice Mines of Kessler 'cuz she promised me I could root through her piles and piles of books on their way to "Out of the Closet." One person's cleansing is another person's booty... made out like a bandit!
I got some gems, oldies but goodies, like
Susie Bright's Sexual Reality: A Virtual Sex World Reader
Sweetlife: erotic fantasies for couples edited by Violet Blue
Tristan Taormino's True Lust: adventures in sex, porn and perversion
Herotica: a collection of Women's erotic fiction , Susie Bright, editor...

plus tons more. These mostly work like great time capsules for me to see what all these players in the sex positive publications world are doing now. Which publishing companies are still around, laugh at the outdated internet info, and know a little more for when I meet these players while co-hosting "Is This Normal?", which will happen!!! Tristan Taormino's book is like reading her "Get in the Van," which is great because no one gives you a primer on joining a punk band.... or become an anal sex positive expert.

And all of this sex stuff is so very punk, is it not?
DIY publishing companies (Cleis Press, fer instance), appearances, readings, workshops, performance art, getting dressed up, getting dressed down, piercing something, tattooing something, giving head, getting head, getting interviewed on radio, magazines and interwebs......

Besides these great 90's sex readers, I scored various photography books, like an Andreas Feininger. An old copy of Juxtapoz with our buddy Molly McGee and her old latex company "So Hip It Hurts." I got home and realized I got no room. How greedy of me..... my bookshelves are weighted down and straining, and I can't possibly fit any more... no matter how much time, patience, trust and lube. Maybe I'll have a big Amazon sale and then take Kessler out to dinner.

One gem I'm looking forward to reviewing is "Boys Like Her: transfictions by Taste This, foreward by Kate Bornstein." So this is a book written by 4 genderqueers..... fiction? Probably not. Kinda. But it looks good. Life beyond "Boys Don't Cry."

One book that's making me want to throw my vow of celibacy out the window is "How to make love to Adrian Colesberry by Adrian Colesberry." Yep, I want to suck AdrianColesberry's toes and convince them they are cute. That's the power of the informative information that AdrianColesberry has shared in his book. See, I'm even eliminating the space between Adrian & Colesberry in order to save time so I may be able to get to making love to AdrianColesberry sooner! I only hope I can hit that before that Susie Bright does!!! He will be a guest on ITN Dec. 9 and I'm excited as all heck.
In the meantime, I'm still coveting this... *hint.hint* *wishlist. wishlist* *size XL*

I. Did. Not. Have. Sex. With. That. Woman...Me..Um...

I wouldn't be talking about Carrie Prejean, former Miss California, if she wasn't so entertaining.

As a Sex Expert (trust me.. they let me co-host an internet show... that makes me a Professional!), I'm laughing my ass off (verrry professional!) when Carrie says her "sex tape" isn't really a sex tape because she wasn't "having sex."

I haven't even seen it, but in this case I'm going to keep going... too much fun and I have a point to make.

She defends herself by saying she was by herself.

I forgot that some people can be dumb, not have the same definitions as the rest of us, or just being ridiculous when they are a hypocrite who's trying to cover up.

Carrie.... whatever you were doing, it's Sex.
Now, if you want to say you weren't having intercourse or sexual intercourse, then be specific.
Honey, if you're there- by yourself- touching yourself... it's Sex.
If- God forbid!- someone else is there, just touching you... it's Sex.
If- Oh lord!- it's another woman there, just touching you... it's Sex.
If- gasp!- it's 2 to 3 more people, just touching you... it's Sex.
If- eep!- someone is getting something stuck in an orifice, like fingers, tongues or sex toys, it's.......... yep, you're catching on... it's Sex.

If, Carrie, you are simply lying there, writhing, not even touching yourself, it's Sex.

And, this is mind-blowing, literally, well, for some of us, if you are lying there and not touching anyting and having an all over body-orgasm from meditation, it's Sex, darling, young lady, young friend.

Sex is not just a male penis inside a female's vagina. Sorry Carrie... just needed to school you. Hell, I refuse to be told I'm not cool just because I'm not currently following that paradigm!!!

You parading on stage during primetime, with about 24 square inches of spandex bikini covering your private parts is jack-off material, by the way....... and not just for men. Oh, not for me... you kinda make me throw up in my mouth a little... but that's Sex, Carrie- the mostly-nudeness on stage, not me throwing up in mouth a little. That's ANOTHER BLOG, boys and girls (sorry... cheap shot! : )

And while I got you, Carrie, please, oh please, I would ask that you and your ilk not appropriate the term "Strong Woman" to describe yourself, just because you have such a forceful way of speaking, didn't know how to gracefully handle things with Larry King when he kept asking a question, and you're insisting that conservative women are being silenced.
A couple of hours later you were on a junk show on Fox called "Red Eye," which I guess is there attempt to get "the young people." It's the same night, because you're wearing the same outfit and we know how the publicity machine in this town works. "Red Eye" looks like some frat boys getting stoopid and one of them would NOT shut up about the chick from "Mad Men." You had no problem with anything "inappropriate" they said, Carrie.

Yeah, don't cop the term "Strong Woman" like you're soooooo silenced by America.

Trust me, from where I'm sitting it looks like the type of woman you are has a majority in America and has had a hand in a lack of sex education and birth control education for young people, a lack of health services for lower income women, and......... shit, I could go on and on.

Your brand of woman that is soooo persecuted right now still gets to parade on stage, mostly naked, supported by the richest man in the USA, Donald Trump.

Gay and Lesbians still can't get married.
Carrie, looks like you're winning.

"Oh, Hello Vicar!"

I ran into Reverend Bob yesterday at the Empire Center. I was on my way to Sharkey's for nachos. Seriously, he was in street clothes and we ran into each other, had the moment of recognition, hi! and hugged. He tells me they have a group of Druids meeting at the church now. Only in California!!

I think I had a serious hormonal spike this week. I don't know if it's more estrogen or less estrogen. It could be the weather change and the time change. I guess I'm a lot more Granola Earth Mother than I thought- I really do believe in the hormonal dips we get throughout the day, our circadian rhythms, etc, etc. I guess I really am connected to the Earth.

But the hormonal spike says "perimenopause" to me... I feel like if I were loving someone, having sex regularly, and maybe have kids, my hormones would be different.

At least is was a postive chemical balance this week instead of a chemical imbalance. I feel good, I feel hyper. It could also be beta-endorphins after a fun Halloween. No drugs, no alcohol, but hanging out at a fun party with a successful costume. Also, our guest on "Is This Normal?" was a total egghead- Philosophy of Pain, and I loved it. It's all these things.... these are the x-factors since I don't drink, do drugs, get 8 hours of sleep, no spouse.....

Which leads me to believe that something has cracked open- again- and now I'm ready for something new. I'm not sure, but a new pursuit, a new mastery of something. The corsets and sewing are a done deal. The job that pays my bills.

Now, do I get back into photography?
Learn about rhetoric, logic, proper arguing and writing?
Philosophy? Aristotlean or Analytical?
More Religion and Sex learning?
Refute Richard Dawkins? Why bother?
Get my ass out and volunteer to help others?
I pay dues to a union and I'm bad a member of that club. Get more involved?... well, it's disheartening when your vocation is always listed below the grips and PA's, and I don't see that changing.

I don't know, but I know I'm restless and ready to start on something new. Doing the show with Emily and Carlos is wonderful because it's a regular date to meet new people, have a new subject to think about, ask questions, learn. I sure do like that.

Besides working on the Fritscher/Mapplethorpe, also reading "My Lobotomy" by Howard Dully. Went by Christine Kessler's this week because she was doing a domestic cleansing and getting rid of a ton of books..... a ton. Got some older Susie Brights, a Tristan Taormino and lots of photography. Books.

still reading "Assault with a Deadly Camera" about Mapplethorpe

I love this book.
I loved it when I checked it out of a library 18 years ago, and now I own a used copy from Amazon. It's autographed by Jack Fritscher..."Best Regards! Jack Fristscher." Crazy to think people get rid of books, but we do... maybe you need the money. maybe you need the room. maybe you die. Someday I'll tell you the story of Henry Rollins and my Nick Cave books.....

Jack Fritscher is the old gay leatherman I want to know (next to Guy Baldwin.)
Leave it to Jack to mix intelligence and pop culture with excellent observations. This book is timeless. I find myself reading about my California Governor, AIDS, Warhol, predjudice and hate, and art. I only let myself read the book in dribs and drabs because I don't want it to end. Then, I go look up something I never knew that I just read. I love the way my idea of Mapplethorpe has changed and I've changed. Eighteen years ago, I thought he was an artist who happened to be gay and took some controversial photos. For me now, he's a gay man and incredible artist who's talent was his entree into the gay men's leather world. The controveries came years later when scared fundie white guys and senators needed yet-one-more thing to pick on. How much art has been fucked since these controversies? America had a dismal public mainstream perception of art already without things like this happening.

Sometimes, when I let myself, I really miss Art.
Jack writes a telling phrase... the latin ave atque vale - hail and farewell, used to describe Mapplethorpe's famous self-portrait with the skull cane.
I seem to do that a lot... "hail and farewell."

And today I'm looking up George Dureau, a key player in the book, a New Orleans painter and photographer of nudes and longtime friend of Mapplethorpe. A gay man. This time of year is when I plan all kinds of grandiose plans about what I'm going to run and see and do in Louisiana at Christmastime. I get there, and it's rainy and dismal and overcast. My California Energy dissipitates.... and I want to curl up inside with family because I can't find anyone to "run the roads" with me.

This year I will find Dureau... and by that, I mean, find his art hanging in some tiny gallery, or perhaps a coffee table book on Royal. Maybe where he used to live. By myself most probably. I do a lot by myself.
Is he still alive? I don't know. I'm looking.
I found his house in someone's blog, 2008.



There's a twinge of mourning because there's really no one I can share this with. No artist at my side. No key player in my life to yell over at, "hey!! come look at this!!" No other draw-er of bodies, no photographer of bodies, no writer of words, no maker of art. Right now, I've given up looking. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, right?





A fucking incredible kitchen.........






Guess what?
Click on the photo to get a larger version.

The drawing on the wall.. the guy with the Hasselblad.


Looks a lot like Robert Mapplethorpe.